ANOTHER OPENING ANOTHER SHOW...lalalalala...zzzzzzzzzzzz...
Been bizzy worky on mah bloggies. Fourteen or so I think. Lost track.
One, the new store one, has now become three websites so far. URGH!
http://dustybearsplaceonline.blogspot.com/
The games one is really kewl. TONS of kewl games and stuffies.
http://bear-fore-play.blogspot.com/
CHEK EM OUT
GIT ERRRRRRRR DUNNNNNNNNNNNN
hehehe
Trying to get the bloggies all set up before the galleys come back. Then it's hibernate and read read read again. FINNERS CROSSED...
Course, I got six more full-length novels to get ready for the publishy varmits. EEEK!
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
So, email me and tell me what everybody is up to.
Moah latah.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Saturday, July 7, 2007
A DAY IN THE LIFE...vol 1 no 7
FINALLY, an update.
Life has been a Bear (pun intended) lately, and I have had to let a lot of things go. NOT MY FAULT, as we shall c.
Catch-up (Playing).
I finally have finished the interior revisions (2nd round) for Dime A Dance, bk 1 pt 2. YAY. They have gone to production and am merely waiting now for the corrected galleys to be returned to me for approval. IF I DO! Finicky Ah ith.
Also finished the image revisions for the interior. Again. Pfui. These two things consumed almost three weeks of my already bizzy life...and I DO mean consumed.
Also got sucked, so to speak, into being in the middle of the dedication ceremony for my ancestor. Decorated hero of three wars. (The Bush-Kerrey debates, The Battle between the sissies, and the (Mostly Civil) War. (How civil can it be, when people are shooting at each other).
Yeth thur. My ancestor wath out there wif the best of them, was ol' Henry. Up in a tree limb...tossing fruits and berries, dead squirrels, and pails of maple syrup at the armed warriors below. The syrup thing was a real stroke of genius. Got in the equipment and metastasized. (Got good and sticky and gummed up the workies). Also got in their hair, and all over their clothes...and you KNOW how sissies are about their appearance.
Yep. They kept breaking ranks to go to the baths, and the SAL LAHN....Oh it was a treat to behold.
It would be bedlam and then there would be a large splat. Then it would all get very verr quiet.
Okay. not that quiet.
"MARRRY. Look at MY NEW UNIFORM! EEEEEEEEEEEEK!"
"OUTFIT? LOOK AT MAH HAIR? I AM RUINED!"
Then, everyone would toss aside their cannons, rifles, pistols, bow and arrows, microphones, hair dryers, Mini-make-up kits, lipstick, and RUNNNNNNNN to the exits.
I lived for those times. Gunfire ith REALLY HARD to seepy through.
SO, anyway, some pervert decided that for all Henry's hard work (Tossing his syrup? His COOKIES? How hard could it be. He was doing that in his high chair...only last week).
HE SHOULD BE FETED and honored with a MONUMENT.
Monumental mistake, methinks. He will be SO hard to live with now.
What? He's DEAD?
EVEN WORSE.
Oh, what an event it wath. Dignitaries from everywhere. The town drunk came all the way from De-tox. Aunt Esmeralda Bear and her sister Theodora came over from Oshkosh (By gosh).
Urgh. I HATE little old female Bears who tweak the cheeks of everyone under the age of 104. I STILL look like I'm blushing. Okay, maybe that is the case. YOO HOO? MAKE-UP?
Some bigsnots came from Washington D.C. WHOO HOO. AH wath jest all over kummy...and Bear got to sit 'tween them. I'm still checking my wallet. Came from Chicago, Detroit, Grand Rapids, jest everywhar.
I got to give a speech. HIGHLIGHT OF THE ENTIRE SHEBANG. I got a STAN...SITT...
okay. They noticed and applauded politely.
Then the big wiggies all tawked, but not NEAR as intersting as Bear.
Then they laid dirt from Henry's home forest in Vermont which had been shipped in.
LITTLE LATE TO BE COVERING HIM WITH DIRT, doncha think? He died in 1885. Geez.
Laid wreaths. (Better late than never dept). Then there was a firing line. I was tawking with one of the BIG SNOTS, and didn't hear that little announcement. Suddenly, a whole bunch of guns started going off.
I DOVE FOR THE CAVE. (Thoo embarrassing. Big cemetary, and NO CAVE. I am still trying to get the dirt out of mah reddened cheekies).
Then MOOSIC. Brought in speshul. (Recording artiste friend of mine, with accompaniment. WHOO HOO).
Finally, after a whole bunch of mucky-muck, the closing prayer. By now I needed one.
THEN, the photo-ops. Bear ran and hid. BUT, one of the BIG SNOTS found me and...
I shall forever more be ensconced in his office. Big WHOOP! Embarrassing.
I held up my bookie (in front of mah fathe). I held up a GAWJUS wooden box that Henry hand-carved while stationed at Fort Morgan during the battle of Mobile Bay...and gave a short recitation about it. (All kidding aside, it IS beautiful. It sits on a large 3-drawer chest that sits in mah foyer...next to a deacon's bench that originally sat in the home of Josiah Bartlett (in the 1700's). He was the first signer of the Declaration of Independence. Another big whoop.
A good time was had by all, from what I remember. I had gone to it on less than 2 hours sleep, cause of editing. Came right home and back at it again.
WHOO HOO!
The fourth of july went by with me chained to the computer.
So that is my life. Write, Edit, proofread.
HEY! Just when does the counting $$$ start.
What?
Smart ath.
Db
Life has been a Bear (pun intended) lately, and I have had to let a lot of things go. NOT MY FAULT, as we shall c.
Catch-up (Playing).
I finally have finished the interior revisions (2nd round) for Dime A Dance, bk 1 pt 2. YAY. They have gone to production and am merely waiting now for the corrected galleys to be returned to me for approval. IF I DO! Finicky Ah ith.
Also finished the image revisions for the interior. Again. Pfui. These two things consumed almost three weeks of my already bizzy life...and I DO mean consumed.
Also got sucked, so to speak, into being in the middle of the dedication ceremony for my ancestor. Decorated hero of three wars. (The Bush-Kerrey debates, The Battle between the sissies, and the (Mostly Civil) War. (How civil can it be, when people are shooting at each other).
Yeth thur. My ancestor wath out there wif the best of them, was ol' Henry. Up in a tree limb...tossing fruits and berries, dead squirrels, and pails of maple syrup at the armed warriors below. The syrup thing was a real stroke of genius. Got in the equipment and metastasized. (Got good and sticky and gummed up the workies). Also got in their hair, and all over their clothes...and you KNOW how sissies are about their appearance.
Yep. They kept breaking ranks to go to the baths, and the SAL LAHN....Oh it was a treat to behold.
It would be bedlam and then there would be a large splat. Then it would all get very verr quiet.
Okay. not that quiet.
"MARRRY. Look at MY NEW UNIFORM! EEEEEEEEEEEEK!"
"OUTFIT? LOOK AT MAH HAIR? I AM RUINED!"
Then, everyone would toss aside their cannons, rifles, pistols, bow and arrows, microphones, hair dryers, Mini-make-up kits, lipstick, and RUNNNNNNNN to the exits.
I lived for those times. Gunfire ith REALLY HARD to seepy through.
SO, anyway, some pervert decided that for all Henry's hard work (Tossing his syrup? His COOKIES? How hard could it be. He was doing that in his high chair...only last week).
HE SHOULD BE FETED and honored with a MONUMENT.
Monumental mistake, methinks. He will be SO hard to live with now.
What? He's DEAD?
EVEN WORSE.
Oh, what an event it wath. Dignitaries from everywhere. The town drunk came all the way from De-tox. Aunt Esmeralda Bear and her sister Theodora came over from Oshkosh (By gosh).
Urgh. I HATE little old female Bears who tweak the cheeks of everyone under the age of 104. I STILL look like I'm blushing. Okay, maybe that is the case. YOO HOO? MAKE-UP?
Some bigsnots came from Washington D.C. WHOO HOO. AH wath jest all over kummy...and Bear got to sit 'tween them. I'm still checking my wallet. Came from Chicago, Detroit, Grand Rapids, jest everywhar.
I got to give a speech. HIGHLIGHT OF THE ENTIRE SHEBANG. I got a STAN...SITT...
okay. They noticed and applauded politely.
Then the big wiggies all tawked, but not NEAR as intersting as Bear.
Then they laid dirt from Henry's home forest in Vermont which had been shipped in.
LITTLE LATE TO BE COVERING HIM WITH DIRT, doncha think? He died in 1885. Geez.
Laid wreaths. (Better late than never dept). Then there was a firing line. I was tawking with one of the BIG SNOTS, and didn't hear that little announcement. Suddenly, a whole bunch of guns started going off.
I DOVE FOR THE CAVE. (Thoo embarrassing. Big cemetary, and NO CAVE. I am still trying to get the dirt out of mah reddened cheekies).
Then MOOSIC. Brought in speshul. (Recording artiste friend of mine, with accompaniment. WHOO HOO).
Finally, after a whole bunch of mucky-muck, the closing prayer. By now I needed one.
THEN, the photo-ops. Bear ran and hid. BUT, one of the BIG SNOTS found me and...
I shall forever more be ensconced in his office. Big WHOOP! Embarrassing.
I held up my bookie (in front of mah fathe). I held up a GAWJUS wooden box that Henry hand-carved while stationed at Fort Morgan during the battle of Mobile Bay...and gave a short recitation about it. (All kidding aside, it IS beautiful. It sits on a large 3-drawer chest that sits in mah foyer...next to a deacon's bench that originally sat in the home of Josiah Bartlett (in the 1700's). He was the first signer of the Declaration of Independence. Another big whoop.
A good time was had by all, from what I remember. I had gone to it on less than 2 hours sleep, cause of editing. Came right home and back at it again.
WHOO HOO!
The fourth of july went by with me chained to the computer.
So that is my life. Write, Edit, proofread.
HEY! Just when does the counting $$$ start.
What?
Smart ath.
Db
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
A DAY IN THE LIFE...Vol 1 No 6
WELL, here we go again.
The interior galleys (book text) are arriving via email today...and then Bear has to read EVERY WORD to make sure all is well in Bearland. If this runs true to form, I have no doubt this little process will be repeated several more times as we tune, fine-tune, re-tune, cuss, snort, snarl, growl, and then Bear works hith magic and all turns out fine...and a new novel will emerge headed to your fave bookstore.
YAY!
Went to the cemetary to talk with the sextant about the (MIS) placement of the new monument that was erected recently to honor one of mah Bear ancestors. A hero he wath. Civil War, Blackhawk War, and the Mexican War (He beat the crap out of John Wayne at the Alamo. They cut that out of the film. Some contractual thingy that Wayne had to EVER AND ALWAYS emerge the hero. Harumph. Custer shoulda had John Wayne's agent. Sitting Bull, too).
Then went to Wal-Mart and stocked up on goodies for the proofreedy adventure that looms.
Yes, got goodies for Mittens too. He is still groveling at mah tootsies).
Other interminable errands, and then back here to WORKIE.
NAP! (Yeh right).
So, I shall attempt to proofread wif ONE eye, while watching the New Hampshire (ancestral home) debates tonight on CNN...wif the OTHER one.
Two ears. Stuff goes in both. COLLIDES HEAD ON IN THE MIDDLE.
Then is sideswiped by stuff coming in through eyes.
EEEEEEEEK!
Bear brain is a BIZZY place. Messy too.
No wonder I am mah insurance agents biggest nemesis. LOL.
Laters dahlins'.
DOO DOO TEE awaits.
Db
The interior galleys (book text) are arriving via email today...and then Bear has to read EVERY WORD to make sure all is well in Bearland. If this runs true to form, I have no doubt this little process will be repeated several more times as we tune, fine-tune, re-tune, cuss, snort, snarl, growl, and then Bear works hith magic and all turns out fine...and a new novel will emerge headed to your fave bookstore.
YAY!
Went to the cemetary to talk with the sextant about the (MIS) placement of the new monument that was erected recently to honor one of mah Bear ancestors. A hero he wath. Civil War, Blackhawk War, and the Mexican War (He beat the crap out of John Wayne at the Alamo. They cut that out of the film. Some contractual thingy that Wayne had to EVER AND ALWAYS emerge the hero. Harumph. Custer shoulda had John Wayne's agent. Sitting Bull, too).
Then went to Wal-Mart and stocked up on goodies for the proofreedy adventure that looms.
Yes, got goodies for Mittens too. He is still groveling at mah tootsies).
Other interminable errands, and then back here to WORKIE.
NAP! (Yeh right).
So, I shall attempt to proofread wif ONE eye, while watching the New Hampshire (ancestral home) debates tonight on CNN...wif the OTHER one.
Two ears. Stuff goes in both. COLLIDES HEAD ON IN THE MIDDLE.
Then is sideswiped by stuff coming in through eyes.
EEEEEEEEK!
Bear brain is a BIZZY place. Messy too.
No wonder I am mah insurance agents biggest nemesis. LOL.
Laters dahlins'.
DOO DOO TEE awaits.
Db
Monday, June 4, 2007
A DAY IN THE LIFE...Vol 1 No 5
Just got an Email from mah publishy varmits. BOOK 2 (third book) is going into production. EEEK!
Mah Gawd. Someone call the ASPCA. Cruelty to Bears. Vicious varmitties, making me work this hard.
Ah well. There is that little matter of $$$ when they hit the stores.
Giggle.
OKAY! FIRE UP THE PRESSES...FASTER FASTER!
At this rate, Ah better git to writey fastah.
EEEK!
Mah Gawd. Someone call the ASPCA. Cruelty to Bears. Vicious varmitties, making me work this hard.
Ah well. There is that little matter of $$$ when they hit the stores.
Giggle.
OKAY! FIRE UP THE PRESSES...FASTER FASTER!
At this rate, Ah better git to writey fastah.
EEEK!
A DAY IN THE LIFE...Vol 1 No 4
SUNDAY:
Almost over. Had to go to Best Buy again today (about 80 mi r/t) to get the correct adapter for mah digicam, (Exchange for the incorrect one they gave me yesterday), and the add-on software for MS OFFICE 2007 they FORGOT to give me yesterday. Counting time and gas, I figure those two items set me back about 400 books. LOL.
Stopped on the way home to grab a hamburger (E-Coli sauce and Salmonella chips extra).
About two hours later, OH GAWD!
Mah evening has NOT been pleasant...(Unless you're INTO cramps and all that fun baffy/drag self to bed moaning stuff).
They forgot to mention that Whopper means bigger size viral bacteria).
So much for MY schedule.
The trip to Best Buy was made even MORE exciting by a wildass rain storm that made driving a real adventure. Sunday, lot of traffic (which I could barely see...until their brake lights would go on right in front of me).
But, I made it. There and back...and I had barely gotten in the housie when...TAH DAH. THE SUN CAME OUT!
Mother Nature? YOO HOO!
Ah gots a PRESENT for yah...
BAMBAM BAM
Wascal woman.
It didn't stay sunny for long, but it didn't rain any moah either. GRUMBLE GRIPE.
Watched the Democratic debates on CNN.
(Okay, watched the parts when I wasn't in the baffy...LISTENED when I was).
I do think I may have missed some of it. My moaning was drowning out the Tee Wee.
Mittens helped though. Came while I was laying down and held my paw with his. (One of his cutesie thingys).
Okay, gotta bounce for now.
ANYONE WANT A HAMBURGER?
I ain't TOUCHIN' the other one I brought home.
UH UH.
NOPE!
NOT ON YOUR LIFE...
ohhhhhhhhhh
Uh...
excuse me...
Pfui.
Almost over. Had to go to Best Buy again today (about 80 mi r/t) to get the correct adapter for mah digicam, (Exchange for the incorrect one they gave me yesterday), and the add-on software for MS OFFICE 2007 they FORGOT to give me yesterday. Counting time and gas, I figure those two items set me back about 400 books. LOL.
Stopped on the way home to grab a hamburger (E-Coli sauce and Salmonella chips extra).
About two hours later, OH GAWD!
Mah evening has NOT been pleasant...(Unless you're INTO cramps and all that fun baffy/drag self to bed moaning stuff).
They forgot to mention that Whopper means bigger size viral bacteria).
So much for MY schedule.
The trip to Best Buy was made even MORE exciting by a wildass rain storm that made driving a real adventure. Sunday, lot of traffic (which I could barely see...until their brake lights would go on right in front of me).
But, I made it. There and back...and I had barely gotten in the housie when...TAH DAH. THE SUN CAME OUT!
Mother Nature? YOO HOO!
Ah gots a PRESENT for yah...
BAMBAM BAM
Wascal woman.
It didn't stay sunny for long, but it didn't rain any moah either. GRUMBLE GRIPE.
Watched the Democratic debates on CNN.
(Okay, watched the parts when I wasn't in the baffy...LISTENED when I was).
I do think I may have missed some of it. My moaning was drowning out the Tee Wee.
Mittens helped though. Came while I was laying down and held my paw with his. (One of his cutesie thingys).
Okay, gotta bounce for now.
ANYONE WANT A HAMBURGER?
I ain't TOUCHIN' the other one I brought home.
UH UH.
NOPE!
NOT ON YOUR LIFE...
ohhhhhhhhhh
Uh...
excuse me...
Pfui.
A DAY IN THE LIFE...Vol 1 No 3
Well, here Ah ith. Sitting in mah cave on a Saturday afternoon. It's over 90, and in the last half hour the sky has turned almost black. (Never a good sign during the dazetime). Veddy windy too. (60 mph they are projecting). AND, yesterday was the FOURTH day Ah hath sat here waiting for Charter Cable people who never came and never called. You would NOT believe the bullshit these people are tossing out their window. If I had ANY OTHER CHOICE...but alas, I do not when it comes to High-speed Internet...and when I had dish network for mah TEE WEE, they were at best...no better. Direct TV? Not in THIS area. God what doofuses. Hmm. That antenna on the roofie is beginning to look a whole lot better...except I never watch OTA broadcast. Only cable, and damn little at that. CNN, MSNBC, Logo, Showtime a little, HBO a little. Which is pretty funny since I am getting over 300 channels on my system. But, it's my internet that is having the problem cause...GET THIS...when they buried my cable? They buried cable that is TOO SMALL. Can't push enough signal for the stuffies Ah got. Sounds like my EX. HEHEHE Oh, he is gonna HIT BEAR...EEEK!.. (Okay. I better do make-up. Justin is without question about the KEWLEST dudey on the planet. BAR NONE.) (Peeks to see if he is listening...hehehe). (I just checked. UGLY outside. Veddy nasty. Sure hope mah powah don't go kaflooey). ANYWAY, dat mah day so far. Oh yeh. Forgot. Drove to Portage to Best Buy (about 80 mi round-trip) to get mah PERTHUNAL copy of MS Office Works Suite 2007...and also needed a new AC/DC adapter for mah digital cam dock. Sold me one. Get all the way home. Guess what ain't in the package, THE PART THAT PLUGS IN THE WALL OUTLET. Good grief. Guess what else? The add-on software for MS. Now, I gotta go back tomorrow and get the stuffies. I just got off the phone wif them. Seems the adapter package they sold me only works in EUROPE. Funny, I don't remember Michigan annexing to Great Britain. PFUI! Gotta love american retailers. SO...incompetent. Fun in the forest. OHH YETh. HEHEHE Laters. |
A DAY IN THE LIFE...Vol 1 No 2
In the immortal words of mah Great-Great-Great-Great-Great (Okay, not everyone thought he was all that great, but...) Grandpappy, Hezequiah Q (for QUICKIE) Bear...
"Hey, honey. You're kinda cute. Wanna go back to mah cave and..."
OKAY...The OTHER thing he used to say...
"$#I%&O%#...GET OUTTAH heah, kid. Can't you see we're busy?"
Grump. Not that either.
OH YEH...
HEZZIE used to say...
'A penny saved...ain't worth much' which is even truer than WAYYY back when he used tah say dat...(Last week).
Neither is a lot of what PASSES...for 'INFORMED PUNDITRY' today. You ever notice that?
I don't care if it's CNN, or CNBC, or MSNBC, or FOX, or SEXY SUSIE'S HELPFUL HINTS FOR THE HAPPINESS-CHALLENGED adult channel...(A perennial fave in Hezzie's housie).
There they are. Each giving THEIR EXALTED AND SELF-PROCLAIMED HIGHLY TOUTED...opinion.
ON EVERYTHING...from chocolate chip cookies to Anna Nicole's baby/will/sex life/whatever. And let's not forget Lindsey and Paris (The broad not the city).
OHH, these twits, these self-appointed SAGES...are jest RIFE wif opinions and commentary. Dey are FULL of it _____. (I'll let YOU fill in THAT blank).
OHHHH YETHY. Each and every one of these bozo's KNOWS...what will cure the ills of a nation/Anna Nicole's sex life (Which alus initiates a lively debate since she is DEAD...but they still talkin' about her, ain't they).
Yep, right down to the odd taste of Aunt Mary's chocolate chip cookies (Marijuana, perhaps?)
Then of course there are the (at last count) 4,372,693.2 candidates running for PRESIDENT of THESE UNITED STATES.
The .2 is for Fred Thompson, Newt, Al (I warn about warm) Gore, and all the other ALMOST BUT NOT QUITE running perthuns.
(I can HARDLY WAIT for the congressional races to start...yah know what Ah mean? I am JEST all a tingly. Gubernatorial and mayoral too.
Dog catcher, Sanitation Engineer specialist, Village council/idiot.
Next year gonna be WEEELY sumfin. (Yeh, sumfin all right).
I UNDERSTAND that a new law has just been passed...and remember. Laws are sorta like gas. There seems to alus be more and more of it and it keeps costing all of us more).
Anyway, No one will be able to use a lighter or matches until after the 2008 elections. They are afraid that the accumulated gas/hot air build-up from all the campaigns...will ignite.
Probably, the only thing that WON'T ignite...is the electorate.
Anyway, in point of fact, there are SO many candidates running now that the federal government doesn't have enough Secret Service Agents to guard them all. (HEHEHE...what a pity). So they are looking elsewhere for more. At least they don't have to worry about John Edwards. Just post one guy outside the door to the hair salon. Giggle.
HEY, I THINK ROSIE is available. Hire her. She will be ALL YOU NEED...unless 'THE DONALD' shows up.
The Donald. Another VOICE OF REASON IN THE WILDERNESS...(on PLUTO. I am all for making those two the FIRST COUPLE of Pluto...now known as a non-planet. Seems fitting. ALL ABOARD?).
Just get those two OUT of the wilderness. Giving us forest critters a bad name...not to mention, upset tummies.
Yep, Rosie and Donald...the size of their brains are SO infinitesimal compared to the size of their ego's...but I'll leave that for another day).
ANYWAY...
So, after listening to ALL these pundit perthuns...these bastions of wisdom and...chocolate chip cookies, I just wanna ask you. What exactly have we learned...hmmm?
That THEY do NOT agree with each other (OR common sense most of the time). Yep. That's about it.
SO, what's a Bear to do?
THINK.
Yep, think..for oneself.
GASP!
MY ADVICE?
UNLESS your brain is by now totally atrophied by drugs (and Aunt Martha's chocolate chip cookies), why not explore the issues of the day. Analyze, scrutinize, lobotomize, and whateverize...and come to YOUR OWN conclusions. WOW! What a novel approach.
SO, periodically...Bear will be helping you to do just that. BEAR=PUNDIT. EEEK!
HELL. Everyone else ith doin' it.
YETH THUR...Along with mah INSPIRED WRITEYS, mah jokes and stories, and mah life in bloggy formy, Bear will be bringing to ALL mah adoring fans...
UNIQUE AND ADORABLE, INSPIRING AND CREATIVE, viewpoints and insights into...
THE GREATEST ISSUES FACING THE WORLD TODAY!
Or perhaps, I'll just bake a batch of mah own chocolate chip cookies...HEHEE.
A few of those and nobody will care...
(HEY MAN? WHAT ISSUES? COOKIES ARE GRRRRRRRREAT MAN).
OKAY! BEAR AS PUNDITTY...
BEAR CAN GROWL WIF DAH BEST OF DEM...and will.
STAY TUNED...
WATCH THIS SPACE
DON'T GO AWAY...
BEAR WILL BE RIGHT BACK.
(Scary thought).
Have a BEARLICIOUS DAY! (And one of mah chocolaty ubiquitylicious cookies).
"Hey, honey. You're kinda cute. Wanna go back to mah cave and..."
OKAY...The OTHER thing he used to say...
"$#I%&O%#...GET OUTTAH heah, kid. Can't you see we're busy?"
Grump. Not that either.
OH YEH...
HEZZIE used to say...
'A penny saved...ain't worth much' which is even truer than WAYYY back when he used tah say dat...(Last week).
Neither is a lot of what PASSES...for 'INFORMED PUNDITRY' today. You ever notice that?
I don't care if it's CNN, or CNBC, or MSNBC, or FOX, or SEXY SUSIE'S HELPFUL HINTS FOR THE HAPPINESS-CHALLENGED adult channel...(A perennial fave in Hezzie's housie).
There they are. Each giving THEIR EXALTED AND SELF-PROCLAIMED HIGHLY TOUTED...opinion.
ON EVERYTHING...from chocolate chip cookies to Anna Nicole's baby/will/sex life/whatever. And let's not forget Lindsey and Paris (The broad not the city).
OHH, these twits, these self-appointed SAGES...are jest RIFE wif opinions and commentary. Dey are FULL of it _____. (I'll let YOU fill in THAT blank).
OHHHH YETHY. Each and every one of these bozo's KNOWS...what will cure the ills of a nation/Anna Nicole's sex life (Which alus initiates a lively debate since she is DEAD...but they still talkin' about her, ain't they).
Yep, right down to the odd taste of Aunt Mary's chocolate chip cookies (Marijuana, perhaps?)
Then of course there are the (at last count) 4,372,693.2 candidates running for PRESIDENT of THESE UNITED STATES.
The .2 is for Fred Thompson, Newt, Al (I warn about warm) Gore, and all the other ALMOST BUT NOT QUITE running perthuns.
(I can HARDLY WAIT for the congressional races to start...yah know what Ah mean? I am JEST all a tingly. Gubernatorial and mayoral too.
Dog catcher, Sanitation Engineer specialist, Village council/idiot.
Next year gonna be WEEELY sumfin. (Yeh, sumfin all right).
I UNDERSTAND that a new law has just been passed...and remember. Laws are sorta like gas. There seems to alus be more and more of it and it keeps costing all of us more).
Anyway, No one will be able to use a lighter or matches until after the 2008 elections. They are afraid that the accumulated gas/hot air build-up from all the campaigns...will ignite.
Probably, the only thing that WON'T ignite...is the electorate.
Anyway, in point of fact, there are SO many candidates running now that the federal government doesn't have enough Secret Service Agents to guard them all. (HEHEHE...what a pity). So they are looking elsewhere for more. At least they don't have to worry about John Edwards. Just post one guy outside the door to the hair salon. Giggle.
HEY, I THINK ROSIE is available. Hire her. She will be ALL YOU NEED...unless 'THE DONALD' shows up.
The Donald. Another VOICE OF REASON IN THE WILDERNESS...(on PLUTO. I am all for making those two the FIRST COUPLE of Pluto...now known as a non-planet. Seems fitting. ALL ABOARD?).
Just get those two OUT of the wilderness. Giving us forest critters a bad name...not to mention, upset tummies.
Yep, Rosie and Donald...the size of their brains are SO infinitesimal compared to the size of their ego's...but I'll leave that for another day).
ANYWAY...
So, after listening to ALL these pundit perthuns...these bastions of wisdom and...chocolate chip cookies, I just wanna ask you. What exactly have we learned...hmmm?
That THEY do NOT agree with each other (OR common sense most of the time). Yep. That's about it.
SO, what's a Bear to do?
THINK.
Yep, think..for oneself.
GASP!
MY ADVICE?
UNLESS your brain is by now totally atrophied by drugs (and Aunt Martha's chocolate chip cookies), why not explore the issues of the day. Analyze, scrutinize, lobotomize, and whateverize...and come to YOUR OWN conclusions. WOW! What a novel approach.
SO, periodically...Bear will be helping you to do just that. BEAR=PUNDIT. EEEK!
HELL. Everyone else ith doin' it.
YETH THUR...Along with mah INSPIRED WRITEYS, mah jokes and stories, and mah life in bloggy formy, Bear will be bringing to ALL mah adoring fans...
UNIQUE AND ADORABLE, INSPIRING AND CREATIVE, viewpoints and insights into...
THE GREATEST ISSUES FACING THE WORLD TODAY!
Or perhaps, I'll just bake a batch of mah own chocolate chip cookies...HEHEE.
A few of those and nobody will care...
(HEY MAN? WHAT ISSUES? COOKIES ARE GRRRRRRRREAT MAN).
OKAY! BEAR AS PUNDITTY...
BEAR CAN GROWL WIF DAH BEST OF DEM...and will.
STAY TUNED...
WATCH THIS SPACE
DON'T GO AWAY...
BEAR WILL BE RIGHT BACK.
(Scary thought).
Have a BEARLICIOUS DAY! (And one of mah chocolaty ubiquitylicious cookies).
A DAY IN THE LIFE...Vol 1 No 1
A BEAR'S LIFE...Vol 1 No 1
Ahem, I mean HI!Tis another day in the life of a Bear...and more writing, editing, and general mayhem ensues.
IT AIN'T MAH FAULTY! (Mah eternal lament.) CRAP JUST HAPPENS...
grumble growl. For the second time in less than a week, I spent the day not only creating a new bloggy...but also being the captive audience and at the merthee...of mah cable company. WHO ONCE AGAIN, never showed and never called. VARMITS!
SO...I CALLED THEM. Called them a LOT of things...OHH yes I did. You would have been PROUD of Bear. Yep. I definitely bit some cable varmit heinie.
I cussed and snorted, growled and grumbled, whimpered and whined, snarled and bared mah fangs...THEY YAWNED...Ah cussed and snorted some more...THEY YAWNED SOME MORE...It was a DUEL TO DAH DEFF...
Yep, I was tawkin' to dah Deaf....AND DUMB. Pfui.
FINALLY...THEY PROMITH...to come out heah on Thursday. I cussed and snorted, growled and grumbled, whimpered and whined, snarled and bared mah fangs...THEY YAWNED...Ah cussed and snorted some more...THEY YAWNED SOME MORE...It was a DUEL TO DAH DEFF...
Yep, I was tawkin' to dah Deaf....AND DUMB. Pfui.
They bettah. I been target practicing.
Been using their picture too.
HEHEHE...
Course, the yard perthuns didn't show up either. May be forced to hire a goat. YOO HOO! BILLY! Hmmm...he looks hungry. Hope he don't like Bearbutt.
EVEN IF IT ITH ADORABLE.
EVEN IF IT ITH ADORABLE.
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