In the immortal words of mah Great-Great-Great-Great-Great (Okay, not everyone thought he was all that great, but...) Grandpappy, Hezequiah Q (for QUICKIE) Bear...
"Hey, honey. You're kinda cute. Wanna go back to mah cave and..."
OKAY...The OTHER thing he used to say...
"$#I%&O%#...GET OUTTAH heah, kid. Can't you see we're busy?"
Grump. Not that either.
OH YEH...
HEZZIE used to say...
'A penny saved...ain't worth much' which is even truer than WAYYY back when he used tah say dat...(Last week).
Neither is a lot of what PASSES...for 'INFORMED PUNDITRY' today. You ever notice that?
I don't care if it's CNN, or CNBC, or MSNBC, or FOX, or SEXY SUSIE'S HELPFUL HINTS FOR THE HAPPINESS-CHALLENGED adult channel...(A perennial fave in Hezzie's housie).
There they are. Each giving THEIR EXALTED AND SELF-PROCLAIMED HIGHLY TOUTED...opinion.
ON EVERYTHING...from chocolate chip cookies to Anna Nicole's baby/will/sex life/whatever. And let's not forget Lindsey and Paris (The broad not the city).
OHH, these twits, these self-appointed SAGES...are jest RIFE wif opinions and commentary. Dey are FULL of it _____. (I'll let YOU fill in THAT blank).
OHHHH YETHY. Each and every one of these bozo's KNOWS...what will cure the ills of a nation/Anna Nicole's sex life (Which alus initiates a lively debate since she is DEAD...but they still talkin' about her, ain't they).
Yep, right down to the odd taste of Aunt Mary's chocolate chip cookies (Marijuana, perhaps?)
Then of course there are the (at last count) 4,372,693.2 candidates running for PRESIDENT of THESE UNITED STATES.
The .2 is for Fred Thompson, Newt, Al (I warn about warm) Gore, and all the other ALMOST BUT NOT QUITE running perthuns.
(I can HARDLY WAIT for the congressional races to start...yah know what Ah mean? I am JEST all a tingly. Gubernatorial and mayoral too.
Dog catcher, Sanitation Engineer specialist, Village council/idiot.
Next year gonna be WEEELY sumfin. (Yeh, sumfin all right).
I UNDERSTAND that a new law has just been passed...and remember. Laws are sorta like gas. There seems to alus be more and more of it and it keeps costing all of us more).
Anyway, No one will be able to use a lighter or matches until after the 2008 elections. They are afraid that the accumulated gas/hot air build-up from all the campaigns...will ignite.
Probably, the only thing that WON'T ignite...is the electorate.
Anyway, in point of fact, there are SO many candidates running now that the federal government doesn't have enough Secret Service Agents to guard them all. (HEHEHE...what a pity). So they are looking elsewhere for more. At least they don't have to worry about John Edwards. Just post one guy outside the door to the hair salon. Giggle.
HEY, I THINK ROSIE is available. Hire her. She will be ALL YOU NEED...unless 'THE DONALD' shows up.
The Donald. Another VOICE OF REASON IN THE WILDERNESS...(on PLUTO. I am all for making those two the FIRST COUPLE of Pluto...now known as a non-planet. Seems fitting. ALL ABOARD?).
Just get those two OUT of the wilderness. Giving us forest critters a bad name...not to mention, upset tummies.
Yep, Rosie and Donald...the size of their brains are SO infinitesimal compared to the size of their ego's...but I'll leave that for another day).
ANYWAY...
So, after listening to ALL these pundit perthuns...these bastions of wisdom and...chocolate chip cookies, I just wanna ask you. What exactly have we learned...hmmm?
That THEY do NOT agree with each other (OR common sense most of the time). Yep. That's about it.
SO, what's a Bear to do?
THINK.
Yep, think..for oneself.
GASP!
MY ADVICE?
UNLESS your brain is by now totally atrophied by drugs (and Aunt Martha's chocolate chip cookies), why not explore the issues of the day. Analyze, scrutinize, lobotomize, and whateverize...and come to YOUR OWN conclusions. WOW! What a novel approach.
SO, periodically...Bear will be helping you to do just that. BEAR=PUNDIT. EEEK!
HELL. Everyone else ith doin' it.
YETH THUR...Along with mah INSPIRED WRITEYS, mah jokes and stories, and mah life in bloggy formy, Bear will be bringing to ALL mah adoring fans...
UNIQUE AND ADORABLE, INSPIRING AND CREATIVE, viewpoints and insights into...
THE GREATEST ISSUES FACING THE WORLD TODAY!
Or perhaps, I'll just bake a batch of mah own chocolate chip cookies...HEHEE.
A few of those and nobody will care...
(HEY MAN? WHAT ISSUES? COOKIES ARE GRRRRRRRREAT MAN).
OKAY! BEAR AS PUNDITTY...
BEAR CAN GROWL WIF DAH BEST OF DEM...and will.
STAY TUNED...
WATCH THIS SPACE
DON'T GO AWAY...
BEAR WILL BE RIGHT BACK.
(Scary thought).
Have a BEARLICIOUS DAY! (And one of mah chocolaty ubiquitylicious cookies).
"Hey, honey. You're kinda cute. Wanna go back to mah cave and..."
OKAY...The OTHER thing he used to say...
"$#I%&O%#...GET OUTTAH heah, kid. Can't you see we're busy?"
Grump. Not that either.
OH YEH...
HEZZIE used to say...
'A penny saved...ain't worth much' which is even truer than WAYYY back when he used tah say dat...(Last week).
Neither is a lot of what PASSES...for 'INFORMED PUNDITRY' today. You ever notice that?
I don't care if it's CNN, or CNBC, or MSNBC, or FOX, or SEXY SUSIE'S HELPFUL HINTS FOR THE HAPPINESS-CHALLENGED adult channel...(A perennial fave in Hezzie's housie).
There they are. Each giving THEIR EXALTED AND SELF-PROCLAIMED HIGHLY TOUTED...opinion.
ON EVERYTHING...from chocolate chip cookies to Anna Nicole's baby/will/sex life/whatever. And let's not forget Lindsey and Paris (The broad not the city).
OHH, these twits, these self-appointed SAGES...are jest RIFE wif opinions and commentary. Dey are FULL of it _____. (I'll let YOU fill in THAT blank).
OHHHH YETHY. Each and every one of these bozo's KNOWS...what will cure the ills of a nation/Anna Nicole's sex life (Which alus initiates a lively debate since she is DEAD...but they still talkin' about her, ain't they).
Yep, right down to the odd taste of Aunt Mary's chocolate chip cookies (Marijuana, perhaps?)
Then of course there are the (at last count) 4,372,693.2 candidates running for PRESIDENT of THESE UNITED STATES.
The .2 is for Fred Thompson, Newt, Al (I warn about warm) Gore, and all the other ALMOST BUT NOT QUITE running perthuns.
(I can HARDLY WAIT for the congressional races to start...yah know what Ah mean? I am JEST all a tingly. Gubernatorial and mayoral too.
Dog catcher, Sanitation Engineer specialist, Village council/idiot.
Next year gonna be WEEELY sumfin. (Yeh, sumfin all right).
I UNDERSTAND that a new law has just been passed...and remember. Laws are sorta like gas. There seems to alus be more and more of it and it keeps costing all of us more).
Anyway, No one will be able to use a lighter or matches until after the 2008 elections. They are afraid that the accumulated gas/hot air build-up from all the campaigns...will ignite.
Probably, the only thing that WON'T ignite...is the electorate.
Anyway, in point of fact, there are SO many candidates running now that the federal government doesn't have enough Secret Service Agents to guard them all. (HEHEHE...what a pity). So they are looking elsewhere for more. At least they don't have to worry about John Edwards. Just post one guy outside the door to the hair salon. Giggle.
HEY, I THINK ROSIE is available. Hire her. She will be ALL YOU NEED...unless 'THE DONALD' shows up.
The Donald. Another VOICE OF REASON IN THE WILDERNESS...(on PLUTO. I am all for making those two the FIRST COUPLE of Pluto...now known as a non-planet. Seems fitting. ALL ABOARD?).
Just get those two OUT of the wilderness. Giving us forest critters a bad name...not to mention, upset tummies.
Yep, Rosie and Donald...the size of their brains are SO infinitesimal compared to the size of their ego's...but I'll leave that for another day).
ANYWAY...
So, after listening to ALL these pundit perthuns...these bastions of wisdom and...chocolate chip cookies, I just wanna ask you. What exactly have we learned...hmmm?
That THEY do NOT agree with each other (OR common sense most of the time). Yep. That's about it.
SO, what's a Bear to do?
THINK.
Yep, think..for oneself.
GASP!
MY ADVICE?
UNLESS your brain is by now totally atrophied by drugs (and Aunt Martha's chocolate chip cookies), why not explore the issues of the day. Analyze, scrutinize, lobotomize, and whateverize...and come to YOUR OWN conclusions. WOW! What a novel approach.
SO, periodically...Bear will be helping you to do just that. BEAR=PUNDIT. EEEK!
HELL. Everyone else ith doin' it.
YETH THUR...Along with mah INSPIRED WRITEYS, mah jokes and stories, and mah life in bloggy formy, Bear will be bringing to ALL mah adoring fans...
UNIQUE AND ADORABLE, INSPIRING AND CREATIVE, viewpoints and insights into...
THE GREATEST ISSUES FACING THE WORLD TODAY!
Or perhaps, I'll just bake a batch of mah own chocolate chip cookies...HEHEE.
A few of those and nobody will care...
(HEY MAN? WHAT ISSUES? COOKIES ARE GRRRRRRRREAT MAN).
OKAY! BEAR AS PUNDITTY...
BEAR CAN GROWL WIF DAH BEST OF DEM...and will.
STAY TUNED...
WATCH THIS SPACE
DON'T GO AWAY...
BEAR WILL BE RIGHT BACK.
(Scary thought).
Have a BEARLICIOUS DAY! (And one of mah chocolaty ubiquitylicious cookies).
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